It was all fun and games until my vacation ended yesterday. I punctuated a wonderful 11 days of rest and relaxation with the proverbial cubicle scream once I downloaded all my backed up unread e-mail. After my download finally completed, my morning was pretty much set in stone with the dubious task of wading through over 360 unread messages.
One of my e-mails contained a newsletter from an organisation I belong to at work. Within the newsletter I found the following quote by Dr. Seuss:
Be who you are and say what you feel,
Because those who mind don't matter
And those who matter don't mind
I love the quote because it is a lesson in truly being yourself. I also love it for the beauty of its simplicity. Actually living by the words is much more complex.
I'm not exactly sure what to do with the quote in terms of applying it to my own life, but I know I happened upon it for a reason. What I decide to do with it is yet to come.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
One Thing I Never Thought I Would do on my Birthday
This year's birthday was special for a reason other than turning 40. There was one thing I never thought I would do on my birthday, and that was ride around in a combine harvesting corn.
You don't have to be from a farm to know that crops are normally harvested in the fall. But back in the fall it was too wet to take the corn off one of the fields and so the corn was left all winter. Since this corn was destined for pig chop, the quality does not have to be as pristine as it would had the corn been destined for human consumption, so it was still good enough to harvest. Also, in early to mid-March the snow is normally still melting. This year the snow melted early, thereby setting the stage for a harvest to occur on my birthday weekend.
Now let's get one thing straight - I was not driving the combine or harvesting corn. I am far too urban to do that. Well, it's not that I am too urban, it's just that I have no idea how to drive a combine or use it to harvest. If there is one thing I have learned in life, it is that you don't mess around with a half a million dollar piece of farm equipment! Disclaimers aside, it was my brother Anson who was driving the combine, I just went along for the dusty ride.
It was as close to the crack of dawn as I get on a weekend, and my nephew Gerry woke me up to see if I wanted to go out in the field on the tractor with him. Part of me wanted to stay asleep, but then I realised this is probably the only time in my life that I will get an opportunity to go out in March and watch my family members work the field. So I put on my grubbies and off I went.
The morning was gorgeous! The sky was clear, not a cloud to be seen. The frost was still in the ground. It was chilly outside, but the cab is heated. The mood was laid back; all in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about.
Gerry mentioned that the only thing that would make the morning better would be a tea from Tim Horton's, and that I should go.
me: I don't have my license on me.
Gerry: You're in the middle of nowhere. It doesn't matter.
me: If anyone would get caught driving without a license, it would be me.
Gerry: then don't get caught.
Anson (on the two way radio): Gerry, do something (note: he actually said to do something more specific, but I can't remember what it was).
Gerry: Hold on, I am trying to convince Aunt Lori to go to Tim Horton's.
Anson: I'll have a milk and two sugars in my tea. Get me one of them fritters, too.
me: I don't have my license on me.
Anson: It's okay, just don't get caught.
me: Jeppers! Like father, like son!
So off I trundled into town to experience my own Tim Horton's moment. Luckily it is a small town where they are used to people walking in in their grubbies. Tea, coffee, and fritters in hand I made it back to the combine without getting caught. As the morning wore on, the frost came out of the ground and we had to stop or face the prospect of digging a combine out of the mud.
I was a bit sad to leave the field, but I did snap a bunch of photos along the way to capture the moment. I still keep one of them on my blackberry at work to remind myself that no matter how crazy the downtown Toronto rat race gets, there is always a place I can go where the sun shines, the mood is laid back, and everything feels better with a coffee and fritter in my hand.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My Little Patch of Green
Well my search for items for my bathroom has turned out fruitless so far. I'm not discouraged, it's just going to take a little longer than I thought to find what I want.
The biggest challenge is finding a vanity and counter top that will go with the existing beige toilet and bathtub. This is a perfect illustration as to why I like white bathroom fixtures, but the beige came with the house so I am kind of stuck. Replacing the toilet would not be so bad, but the tub would be a royal pain in the A**. Getting a tub surround in there presents the same challenge as putting in a new tub. I am also not willing to paint the tub, as I used that trick when I sold the condo and was not very happy with the results. The only saving grace there was that I was selling the place, so the painted tub and tile were not going to be my problem. I will just keep hunting and eventually I will find something that works. I'm estimating that November will be when I finally get everything together.
At least my week off has not been a complete and total waste. As I was walking to the bathroom store, I stoppped off at a garden centre and was inspired to do my gardening. I purchased 24 petunias in a myriad of colours, and 2 begonias - salmon pink and sunshiney yellow. That was the beginning of my gardening odyssey.
I decided to trim the hedge in my front yard, as I noticed it was yet again encroaching on my neighbour Fernando's car. Fernando's side of the hedge trimmed up beautiful and square, but my side had a big gaping hole that was directly attributable to some branches breaking off when I was shovelling snow in the winter. I trimmed and I trimmed but try as I might, nothing was fixing the gaping hole.
I was taking a bit of a break, examining the hedge, and deciding what to do when Dave from 2 doors down came home from work. He asked what I was doing, and I explained my dilemma. He said "well, if you decide to take it down I have a tool that will cut through the branches like soft butter!" I took it as a sign.
After a couple of hours of pruning and digging, the hedge was gone. I felt kind of bad at first, until I was standing in the front doorway and noticed how much brighter the entrance looked. My decision was confirmed by a couple more neighbours when they commented on how much more spacious the front yard looked. They have a bush that grows in a spot that is akin to where my hedge was, and are now contemplating getting rid of their bush as well.
I had to plant the petunias just as the rain was starting, but was glad that I did not have to water them. At the end of it all, it was nice to see colour in my front entrance, and I hope the petunias and begonias will bloom all summer.
Today I finished up my gardening by weeding the back yard, churning up the soil, and trimming the rose bushes. I still have my annual maple key fight ahead of me, but at least the worst is over for this year. I'm glad because I don't think my back and shoulders could take any more abuse. They say gardening is therapeutic, but what they really mean is gardening is followed by a therapeutic massage!
The biggest challenge is finding a vanity and counter top that will go with the existing beige toilet and bathtub. This is a perfect illustration as to why I like white bathroom fixtures, but the beige came with the house so I am kind of stuck. Replacing the toilet would not be so bad, but the tub would be a royal pain in the A**. Getting a tub surround in there presents the same challenge as putting in a new tub. I am also not willing to paint the tub, as I used that trick when I sold the condo and was not very happy with the results. The only saving grace there was that I was selling the place, so the painted tub and tile were not going to be my problem. I will just keep hunting and eventually I will find something that works. I'm estimating that November will be when I finally get everything together.
At least my week off has not been a complete and total waste. As I was walking to the bathroom store, I stoppped off at a garden centre and was inspired to do my gardening. I purchased 24 petunias in a myriad of colours, and 2 begonias - salmon pink and sunshiney yellow. That was the beginning of my gardening odyssey.
I decided to trim the hedge in my front yard, as I noticed it was yet again encroaching on my neighbour Fernando's car. Fernando's side of the hedge trimmed up beautiful and square, but my side had a big gaping hole that was directly attributable to some branches breaking off when I was shovelling snow in the winter. I trimmed and I trimmed but try as I might, nothing was fixing the gaping hole.
I was taking a bit of a break, examining the hedge, and deciding what to do when Dave from 2 doors down came home from work. He asked what I was doing, and I explained my dilemma. He said "well, if you decide to take it down I have a tool that will cut through the branches like soft butter!" I took it as a sign.
After a couple of hours of pruning and digging, the hedge was gone. I felt kind of bad at first, until I was standing in the front doorway and noticed how much brighter the entrance looked. My decision was confirmed by a couple more neighbours when they commented on how much more spacious the front yard looked. They have a bush that grows in a spot that is akin to where my hedge was, and are now contemplating getting rid of their bush as well.
I had to plant the petunias just as the rain was starting, but was glad that I did not have to water them. At the end of it all, it was nice to see colour in my front entrance, and I hope the petunias and begonias will bloom all summer.
Today I finished up my gardening by weeding the back yard, churning up the soil, and trimming the rose bushes. I still have my annual maple key fight ahead of me, but at least the worst is over for this year. I'm glad because I don't think my back and shoulders could take any more abuse. They say gardening is therapeutic, but what they really mean is gardening is followed by a therapeutic massage!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Three Days in and I am Finally Ready to Leave my House
I logged into Facebook while enjoying my morning coffee, and noticed that my friend Scott has put up the link to his blogsite. I was quite happy about it, since I had lost the link to his site. He's got a pretty cool theme about trying to change his lifestyle one scary thing at a time. I really enjoyed the post where he talks about making better use of Monday to Friday instead of just wishing the days away for the weekend. I'm looking forward to watching his progress, and it has given me something to think about, too.
I've spent the bulk of the last three days loafing and sleeping and have not really done a whole lot. Managed to go to the grocery store on Sunday and cooked a fabulous salmon dinner. I also went through the papers and requirements to apply for my Irish citizenship, just in case I ever want to work overseas.
I must thank my brother for going through the process first, since he lined up a lot of the documents that are required, like Grandma's birth certificate and stuff. I was looking at my grandparents' marriage certificate and learned that they were married in Woodstock, which I had no idea. As I looked at the document it felt like I was holding a little piece of history. Its pretty cool what you can learn from looking at one piece of paper. It kinda blew me away, particularly when I realised that I would not be here today had this event not taken place.
Today I am finally going to leave my house and go shopping for things to renovate the bathroom. I am bracing myself for dropping big wads of cash all over town, but in the end it will be worth it. I have hated the bathroom ever since I moved in here but just could not decide what to do with it. I am slowly getting a clear picture of what I want and now it is just a matter of finding it.
I don't think I will find everything today, so I have two shopping days scheduled for reno shopping. Thursday I am going downtown to catch the new Star Trek flik with my co-workers. After I see that, I will start counting down the days until the new Terminator movie comes out on May 21. I can't wait to see that one too!
I've spent the bulk of the last three days loafing and sleeping and have not really done a whole lot. Managed to go to the grocery store on Sunday and cooked a fabulous salmon dinner. I also went through the papers and requirements to apply for my Irish citizenship, just in case I ever want to work overseas.
I must thank my brother for going through the process first, since he lined up a lot of the documents that are required, like Grandma's birth certificate and stuff. I was looking at my grandparents' marriage certificate and learned that they were married in Woodstock, which I had no idea. As I looked at the document it felt like I was holding a little piece of history. Its pretty cool what you can learn from looking at one piece of paper. It kinda blew me away, particularly when I realised that I would not be here today had this event not taken place.
Today I am finally going to leave my house and go shopping for things to renovate the bathroom. I am bracing myself for dropping big wads of cash all over town, but in the end it will be worth it. I have hated the bathroom ever since I moved in here but just could not decide what to do with it. I am slowly getting a clear picture of what I want and now it is just a matter of finding it.
I don't think I will find everything today, so I have two shopping days scheduled for reno shopping. Thursday I am going downtown to catch the new Star Trek flik with my co-workers. After I see that, I will start counting down the days until the new Terminator movie comes out on May 21. I can't wait to see that one too!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Salsa, Sylvester, Slumber (or lack thereof)
Last Saturday I left off where I was going to hang out with the kayak girls for the evening. My intentions were good, I was going to go for a couple of hours then head home around 11:30 or so. It would have worked out, had it not been for some guy from the Isle of Man showing up and wooing me with his salsa dancing prowess. I'm not sure how salsa dancing and a Celtic island go together, but it was the first time in a very long time that I had danced with someone so I did not question it. At least he did not try to woo me with clogging or some other crazy type of Celtic jig - that would have just freaked me out. His friend made him leave fairly early, but I was having far too much fun to call it a night.
The kayak girls and I wound up going to a friend of a friend's place to shoot some pool and by the time we got in it was about 5:00 AM. I had no choice but to sleep the whole day away. It was a stark reminder of why I wanted to leave early, but I have absolutely no regrets about taking the opportunity to go blow off some steam.
The cat has settled in some more. I think he has succumbed to the fact that he is lonely and I am the onely other being from whom he can get any sort of affection. He does not mind when I pet him and enjoys being carried up the stairs out of the basement. After a few days straight of forcing him out of the basement, he has realised that he has full reign of the entire house.
It was my original goal to ensure he was comfortable enough to roam throughout the house. But now I am kind of questioning it. Last night I had settled in for an evening of old All in the Family re-runs that were showing on the free preview of the Deja View channel. I drifted off into a peaceful slumber listening to Archie yell at whoever dared to speak to him.
Around 2:00 AM I awoke to a sound that had me convinced my roof was falling in. As I lay on the couch I thought "should I go check that out, or should I stay down here in the relative safety of my blankie?" As I was laying there, I heard the noise again. I ran up the stairs and into my den only to find my office chair was pulled away from the desk, and the afghan that I leave on my office chair was laying on the floor. There could only be one explanation for that - Sylvester!
I looked under my bed, and Sylvester shot me a look back as if to say "WHAT?". Then he ran back to the basement. I'm still not sure what he was doing with the office chair, but I hope he will not be doing multiple repeat performances of this action at 2:00 AM every night.
Yesterday was the start of 11 work-free days. I have been looking forward to this much needed rest for a while. It feels weird knowing that I don't have to get out of bed tomorrow at the crack of dawn and it feels even weirder to not have a blackberry attached to my hip.
That being said, I hope to get a bunch of stuff done around the house that has been nagging me, including shopping for my bathroom and repairing the toilet upstairs. But it is more likely that I will loaf around in my back yard for most of the week.
The kayak girls and I wound up going to a friend of a friend's place to shoot some pool and by the time we got in it was about 5:00 AM. I had no choice but to sleep the whole day away. It was a stark reminder of why I wanted to leave early, but I have absolutely no regrets about taking the opportunity to go blow off some steam.
The cat has settled in some more. I think he has succumbed to the fact that he is lonely and I am the onely other being from whom he can get any sort of affection. He does not mind when I pet him and enjoys being carried up the stairs out of the basement. After a few days straight of forcing him out of the basement, he has realised that he has full reign of the entire house.
It was my original goal to ensure he was comfortable enough to roam throughout the house. But now I am kind of questioning it. Last night I had settled in for an evening of old All in the Family re-runs that were showing on the free preview of the Deja View channel. I drifted off into a peaceful slumber listening to Archie yell at whoever dared to speak to him.
Around 2:00 AM I awoke to a sound that had me convinced my roof was falling in. As I lay on the couch I thought "should I go check that out, or should I stay down here in the relative safety of my blankie?" As I was laying there, I heard the noise again. I ran up the stairs and into my den only to find my office chair was pulled away from the desk, and the afghan that I leave on my office chair was laying on the floor. There could only be one explanation for that - Sylvester!
I looked under my bed, and Sylvester shot me a look back as if to say "WHAT?". Then he ran back to the basement. I'm still not sure what he was doing with the office chair, but I hope he will not be doing multiple repeat performances of this action at 2:00 AM every night.
Yesterday was the start of 11 work-free days. I have been looking forward to this much needed rest for a while. It feels weird knowing that I don't have to get out of bed tomorrow at the crack of dawn and it feels even weirder to not have a blackberry attached to my hip.
That being said, I hope to get a bunch of stuff done around the house that has been nagging me, including shopping for my bathroom and repairing the toilet upstairs. But it is more likely that I will loaf around in my back yard for most of the week.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
A Quiet Saturday in the Yard
The cat has finally warmed up to me, he doesn't run away quite so quickly now when I approach him, and he purrs when I pet him as opposed to freaking out completely. We still have arguments surrounding the furnace room. I don't like him in there, but have no way to keep him out. I also don't like the fact that he keeps pulling insulation off the wall and laying on it. Today I will be going to Rona to purchase some plastic to staple over top of the insulation. There is more than one way to rob a cat of his desire to lay on fiberglass insulation.
I have only 5 working days until I am on vacation! Nothing prestigious this time, I am going to spend my time shopping for items to redo my bathroom. My intent was to complete the renovations whilst on vacation, but since I do not have any of the materials yet, I guess I will settle with the shopping.
Other than that, not alot has been going on for the past few days. Today I am going to go to the driving range with a good friend, then off to On the Curve with the Kayak Girls for a night out. I'm hoping it will be a day choc full of fun!
I have only 5 working days until I am on vacation! Nothing prestigious this time, I am going to spend my time shopping for items to redo my bathroom. My intent was to complete the renovations whilst on vacation, but since I do not have any of the materials yet, I guess I will settle with the shopping.
Other than that, not alot has been going on for the past few days. Today I am going to go to the driving range with a good friend, then off to On the Curve with the Kayak Girls for a night out. I'm hoping it will be a day choc full of fun!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Houdini Cat
I officially own Houdini Cat. Just when I figure out where he is hiding, he goes and finds another place to disappear to. It usually takes me a bit to find him, but ultimately I do.
Saturday we had a discussion about him hiding behind the dryer - I won. then we had a discussion about him hiding underneath the furnace pipe - I thought I won. But in the end he knew my disdain for copious amounts of dirt and dust webs, so he won. This now adds a new layer of responsibility - hoping he doesn't get burned by the furnace.
I honestly thought owning a cat would be all love and sunshine and a very rewarding experience. So far, I think the cat hates me. The only rewards I have reaped are re-insulating a segment of wall that he tore the insulation out of, making sure he hasn't burst into flames from hanging out under the furnace pipe, and picking cat piss clumps out of the litter box. I am also convinced that the reason the cat hangs out in the furnace room so much is that he is trying to learn how to sever the gas line so that I will meet an untimely explosive death in my sleep.
But, overall the cat appears to be healthy. I can't entirely tell if he is eating, but he manages to keep up enough strength to scratch the crap out of my arms whenever I try to hold him.
Despite my rant, I am glad I have him. He is making me be a more responsible individual particularly since I now have to check behind the dryer every time I wash my socks n scivvies. As I thought about his relative safety whilst hanging out behind the dryer, I thought about dryer safety in general - particuarly that one fateful weekend. It was the first weekend I was living on my own when I started university.
I remember the day well, the year was 1988 and it was one of those perfect September days where the sky was blue, there wasn't a cloud to be seen, and I frittered it away by doing my laundry. My roommate, Mary, had gone home for the weekend, so I was home all by myself.
Things were going very well, I had done a wash load and transferred it over to the dryer. I had just finished putting in the next load of washing when my box of Bounce fell off the back of the dryer. I went around to retrieve the box when all of a sudden the dryer started shaking profusely and practically started to walk across the floor. I thought "how strange, I know that washers do this, but I did not realize dryers did this." After much shaking, the dryer quit. I thought "well that didn't seem to take very long, but thank goodness it is done." I reached down to open the door, but stopped suddenly due to the thick, dark grey, pungent cloud of smoke billowing out of the back of the dryer.
"CRAP the dryer caught fire!"
Oh God oh God oh God oh God! What do I do! Think, think, think...... Ok, rip the clothes out of the dryer to remove the "fuel". Done.
CRAP, smoke is still billowing out of the back. What do I do? Think, think, think...... call the fire department!
Recall that the year is 1988 and I came from a farm. Back in those days on the farm we did not have 9-1-1, and that an actual telephone number was proudly displayed on a sticker on the phone with an emergency location code to give to the operator.
I ran upstairs, picked up the phone and looked for the sticker.
CRAP there is no sticker on the phone! What do I do? Think, think, think...... Look in the phone book.
CRAP can't find the number. What do I do? Think, think, think...... Run downstairs and check the situation.
CRAP smoke is still billowing out of the back of the dryer.
CRAP what do I do?
CRAP what am I still doing in the house?!?!?!?!
As I ran up the stairs and out of the house I thought to myself "Go to the neighbours and get them to call the fire department" So I ran down the driveway and noticed a man walking down the street. ....
Imagine the man walking down the street. A rough looking character, if you will, with a black leather jacket slung over his back. He was having such a lovely time staring at the clear blue pleasant sky. He even looked like he was singing a happy tune in his head. He was walking with one of those slow relaxed saunters taking in the sights right up until he saw a young woman standing in the driveway yelling:
HEY YOU!!! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!! MY DRYER IS ON FIRE!!!
man: WHAT?!
me: CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!! MY DRYER IS ON FIRE!!!
man: Well let me look at it.
me in my head: Perhaps you should run up to the 7-11 at the corner and get some marshmallows so you can roast them over my sweat socks!
me actually saying: JUST CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
man: Relax! Let me look at it!
me: fine
By the time we got inside, smoke had stopped billowing out the back of the dryer. At least it was hanging in a thick pungent cloud at the ceiling of the basement so I did not look like a complete fool.
man: I think it is okay.
me: I think we should call the fire department.
man: just go get a screwdriver and I will open up the back and double check.
I got the screwdriver, he opened the back and checked it out.
man: it's okay, I don't see any fire anymore. I think it was just that the motor blew and what you saw was residual smoke.
me: are you sure?
man: yes
me: ok. Sorry to bother you, you can go now.
man: it's okay, its not every day that I get to be a hero. By the way, for future reference the phone number for the fire department is 9-1-1
me: that works here?
The man shot me a strange look as if to say "Where are you FROM?!?" but then wisely chose to exit the house. I gathered my wet clothes and proceeded to hang them in the back, secretly hoping that no one would steal my scivvies. Its not so much that I would miss the scivvies, it was more that the looming possibility of someone wanting my scivvies just freaked me out. As I hung the clothes, I thought about what could have happened had the whole house burned down. I finished up, and did what all good teenage girls would do in my situation - I sat in the corner on the stairs and cried. Then I thought "I need to talk to Mom. I am going to call her."
I phoned Mom, and her voice sounded rather concerned since I was phoning for the second time that day.
me: Hi Mom
Mom, with hesitation: Hellloooo???
me sobbing: Mom, my...my...my dryer exploded
Mom: OH MY GOD LET ME GET YOUR FATHER!!
me: No Mom, don't get
Mom: AL! LORI'S ON THE PHONE! COME QUICK!
Dad: Hello, what's wrong?
me sobbing: Dad, the dryer exploded.
Dad: WELL WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT? YOU'RE DOWN THERE AND I AM HERE! GOSH, LORI, THINK!
me: Ok Dad. I feel much better now. I am going to go.
I resumed sitting in the corner crying until my landlady's sister came to the house. She made me a cup of tea, talked to me for a while, calmed me down, and then sent me downstairs to sit in the pungent cloud of smoke to watch TV. The dryer got replaced, but to this day I am still very skiddish about clothes dryers. Perhaps that would explain the piles of laundry that continuously build up on my bedroom floor.
Saturday we had a discussion about him hiding behind the dryer - I won. then we had a discussion about him hiding underneath the furnace pipe - I thought I won. But in the end he knew my disdain for copious amounts of dirt and dust webs, so he won. This now adds a new layer of responsibility - hoping he doesn't get burned by the furnace.
I honestly thought owning a cat would be all love and sunshine and a very rewarding experience. So far, I think the cat hates me. The only rewards I have reaped are re-insulating a segment of wall that he tore the insulation out of, making sure he hasn't burst into flames from hanging out under the furnace pipe, and picking cat piss clumps out of the litter box. I am also convinced that the reason the cat hangs out in the furnace room so much is that he is trying to learn how to sever the gas line so that I will meet an untimely explosive death in my sleep.
But, overall the cat appears to be healthy. I can't entirely tell if he is eating, but he manages to keep up enough strength to scratch the crap out of my arms whenever I try to hold him.
Despite my rant, I am glad I have him. He is making me be a more responsible individual particularly since I now have to check behind the dryer every time I wash my socks n scivvies. As I thought about his relative safety whilst hanging out behind the dryer, I thought about dryer safety in general - particuarly that one fateful weekend. It was the first weekend I was living on my own when I started university.
I remember the day well, the year was 1988 and it was one of those perfect September days where the sky was blue, there wasn't a cloud to be seen, and I frittered it away by doing my laundry. My roommate, Mary, had gone home for the weekend, so I was home all by myself.
Things were going very well, I had done a wash load and transferred it over to the dryer. I had just finished putting in the next load of washing when my box of Bounce fell off the back of the dryer. I went around to retrieve the box when all of a sudden the dryer started shaking profusely and practically started to walk across the floor. I thought "how strange, I know that washers do this, but I did not realize dryers did this." After much shaking, the dryer quit. I thought "well that didn't seem to take very long, but thank goodness it is done." I reached down to open the door, but stopped suddenly due to the thick, dark grey, pungent cloud of smoke billowing out of the back of the dryer.
"CRAP the dryer caught fire!"
Oh God oh God oh God oh God! What do I do! Think, think, think...... Ok, rip the clothes out of the dryer to remove the "fuel". Done.
CRAP, smoke is still billowing out of the back. What do I do? Think, think, think...... call the fire department!
Recall that the year is 1988 and I came from a farm. Back in those days on the farm we did not have 9-1-1, and that an actual telephone number was proudly displayed on a sticker on the phone with an emergency location code to give to the operator.
I ran upstairs, picked up the phone and looked for the sticker.
CRAP there is no sticker on the phone! What do I do? Think, think, think...... Look in the phone book.
CRAP can't find the number. What do I do? Think, think, think...... Run downstairs and check the situation.
CRAP smoke is still billowing out of the back of the dryer.
CRAP what do I do?
CRAP what am I still doing in the house?!?!?!?!
As I ran up the stairs and out of the house I thought to myself "Go to the neighbours and get them to call the fire department" So I ran down the driveway and noticed a man walking down the street. ....
Imagine the man walking down the street. A rough looking character, if you will, with a black leather jacket slung over his back. He was having such a lovely time staring at the clear blue pleasant sky. He even looked like he was singing a happy tune in his head. He was walking with one of those slow relaxed saunters taking in the sights right up until he saw a young woman standing in the driveway yelling:
HEY YOU!!! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!! MY DRYER IS ON FIRE!!!
man: WHAT?!
me: CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!! MY DRYER IS ON FIRE!!!
man: Well let me look at it.
me in my head: Perhaps you should run up to the 7-11 at the corner and get some marshmallows so you can roast them over my sweat socks!
me actually saying: JUST CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT
man: Relax! Let me look at it!
me: fine
By the time we got inside, smoke had stopped billowing out the back of the dryer. At least it was hanging in a thick pungent cloud at the ceiling of the basement so I did not look like a complete fool.
man: I think it is okay.
me: I think we should call the fire department.
man: just go get a screwdriver and I will open up the back and double check.
I got the screwdriver, he opened the back and checked it out.
man: it's okay, I don't see any fire anymore. I think it was just that the motor blew and what you saw was residual smoke.
me: are you sure?
man: yes
me: ok. Sorry to bother you, you can go now.
man: it's okay, its not every day that I get to be a hero. By the way, for future reference the phone number for the fire department is 9-1-1
me: that works here?
The man shot me a strange look as if to say "Where are you FROM?!?" but then wisely chose to exit the house. I gathered my wet clothes and proceeded to hang them in the back, secretly hoping that no one would steal my scivvies. Its not so much that I would miss the scivvies, it was more that the looming possibility of someone wanting my scivvies just freaked me out. As I hung the clothes, I thought about what could have happened had the whole house burned down. I finished up, and did what all good teenage girls would do in my situation - I sat in the corner on the stairs and cried. Then I thought "I need to talk to Mom. I am going to call her."
I phoned Mom, and her voice sounded rather concerned since I was phoning for the second time that day.
me: Hi Mom
Mom, with hesitation: Hellloooo???
me sobbing: Mom, my...my...my dryer exploded
Mom: OH MY GOD LET ME GET YOUR FATHER!!
me: No Mom, don't get
Mom: AL! LORI'S ON THE PHONE! COME QUICK!
Dad: Hello, what's wrong?
me sobbing: Dad, the dryer exploded.
Dad: WELL WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT? YOU'RE DOWN THERE AND I AM HERE! GOSH, LORI, THINK!
me: Ok Dad. I feel much better now. I am going to go.
I resumed sitting in the corner crying until my landlady's sister came to the house. She made me a cup of tea, talked to me for a while, calmed me down, and then sent me downstairs to sit in the pungent cloud of smoke to watch TV. The dryer got replaced, but to this day I am still very skiddish about clothes dryers. Perhaps that would explain the piles of laundry that continuously build up on my bedroom floor.
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