Where DID I Leave my Energy?

So the last few weeks I have had a ton of energy. The last few days, not so much. At the end of this past weekend I was supposed to already have my Hallowe'en costume, completed week 3 of my training schedule for my 5K, have a clean house, and lots of groceries. Those were my goals.

Reality.

My house is a mess, luckily the last time I shopped for groceries I bought enough to carry me over in case I couldn't make it out, and I still do not have the Hallowe'en costume. At least I did manage to clean and reinstall my furnace filter and get the furnace turned on.

Sunday I was supposed to shop for my Hallowe'en costume. I got as far as looking up locations of Value Villages and Goodwill stores, called Paul, and told him I was on my way into town to go costume shopping. I got to Paul's house, and was waiting for him to get ready.

A strange thing happens when I wait for Paul to get ready. I go through the TV Guide to find shows that I would not be interested in, but then wind up getting interested in them. So I spent the afternoon watching trash TV about celebrity breakups, ultimately ending in watching a 1 hour documentary on the relationship between Britney Spears and K-Fed. I seem to recall Paul walking by the TV, looking at me and saying "Why are you watching this stupid s--t?!?!" Or maybe I said that to myself. Or we both said it to me at different times.

I am still running. But I am at the crossroads of developing the running habit where I could turn back and loaf on my couch instead of running. Most of my runs start out with me arguing inside my head. The scary thing is the argument in my head is taking place with YEM. Every excuse I had tonight was countered by YEM's voice saying "It's 20 freakin minutes!!!". Basically, the only way YEM is going to let me off easy is if there is a freak lightening storm in October, or if I break a bone anywhere below my pelvis.

While I was busy arguing with myself, I didn't seem to notice that I was putting on running gear instead of my jammies. At the end of it all I looked down at myself and thought "well I guess I will go then."

I got outside the door and thought about the fact that I still am counting steps and carrying my watch with the dead battery in my purse. Then I came to the realisation that since I am counting the steps, the faster I run, the faster I get through the steps, and the faster I get back home and into my jammies with a cup of tea.

I am quite proud of myself that I was able to push myself a little harder tonight, AND I managed make myself run without the real aid of YEM. (having YEM's voice in my head is another matter that will be dealt with either by therapy or prescription drugs at a later date. But for now I am leaving it there because I kind of need it.)

In the end, I know that running faster to get through my steps is pretty much cheating. But since I am still on a bit of a runner's high, I am going to stay positive and just think to myself "Something is better than nothing" even if I wasn't running for 20 freakin minutes. I'm just not sure what the real YEM is going to say about all of this.